I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
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