If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
