so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
