no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
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