I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
