i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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