they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
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