Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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