My balls are so social today.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
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