I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize