we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Randomize
