I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize