i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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