i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize