Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
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