Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
