My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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