this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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