We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Randomize