whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Randomize
