Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
