He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
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