I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
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