Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
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