hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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