yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize