YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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