i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Randomize
