What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
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