You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Randomize
