I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
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