There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Randomize
