So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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