3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Randomize
