Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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