this beer tastes like vomit already
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Randomize
