She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
