I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Randomize
