My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
