I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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