Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Randomize
