I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
