Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
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