I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Randomize
