I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
either way he was missing a nipple.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Randomize
