Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
