booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize
