haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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