Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
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