If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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