I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize
