I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
