we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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