Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Randomize
