Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
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