I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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