Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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