that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
