Heybabeimwearingurpanties
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
