he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Randomize
