..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
