She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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