just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
